If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
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