nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
