At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
