so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
