does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
