What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
