Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
