Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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