This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
