im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
