Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize