Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
