Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize