it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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