is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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