Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
