We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
