If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize