Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
