We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
