There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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