I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
