i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
