FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dignity is for republicans.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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