you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
