if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
