Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize