I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
