You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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