I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
