My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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