You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
