Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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