I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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