Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
