god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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