Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
