My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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