i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
