Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
