nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
