just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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