You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
