just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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