how can u be prego again
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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