I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
