Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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