she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
