I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
