You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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