if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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