is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
