The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
