with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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