We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
