butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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