I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
