You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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