We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Randomize
