ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
