just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
