Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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