I need help removing her.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
