she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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