before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
