There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
