if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize