My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
